"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
