So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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