Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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