i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
50% drunk capacity currently
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
