Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The uberlube is also flammable
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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