Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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