i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
