even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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