Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
