we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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