i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
