why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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