end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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