He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize