she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
