no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize