I'm so fucking centered right now
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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