my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize