I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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