Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
