sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
