The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize