Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize