remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
