let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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