Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if i can run in heels then i can drive
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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