it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
