i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
