The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
