As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
