it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
