i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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