no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
