you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
