no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
