I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize