I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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