genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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