we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
