my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
this hospital has no fireball
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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