question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Farmville is her only friend.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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