whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You can't special order awesome
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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