Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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