party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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