I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the day after is always just damage control
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
