Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
