I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
