***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
