should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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