we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i barfeds in our rink
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
