yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
