Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
