just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
