ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
