Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
