Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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