I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
