is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
