need another drink. this is the easiest way
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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