so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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