The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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