Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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