new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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