I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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