It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
its liver damage thursday
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
