I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
