You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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