i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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