The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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