Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
